PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

It has come to our attention that a gang of despicable and dastardly desperados is currently terrorizing the midwest United States -- however we believe that they are very mobile, and could unexpectedly show up in any jurisdiction within a matter of days. 
We have no idea of what their real names are, but they are currently going by the aliases of "Shorty" and "Beaudreau".  Our most recent information indicates that they have teamed up with two floozies (obviously of dubious reputation) who go by the names of  "Mandolin" and  "Suzieque". 
The only additional information we can provide to assist you in identifying (and avoiding) these misfits is the grainy photograph below, which was taken during a recent drunken orgy at a local saloon/bordello.

If you have any additional information which will aid in putting these no-good nomads where they belong, please pass it on to your local authorities.

If you have any additional information which will aid in putting these no-good nomads where they belong, please pass it on to your local authorities.